The Competition
by Nomi Liron
“Turn it
off. I can’t watch it,” Jenny told her
husband. “It’s toxic to me.”
“The
Olympics only comes on every four years,”
her husband responded. “I’m going to
watch it.”
“But Jon,
all those women with their strong, lithe bodies.
How do you think it makes me feel?
“Don’t
take it so personally.”
“I
can’t help it. I feel like a middle-aged
pear. You should, too, as a matter of fact. Your
body isn’t quite what it used to be thirty
years ago.”
“Jenny, I
try my best. Now get off my back.”
“Your
best! You call that your best?”
“Look at
that!” Jon pointed to a gymnast jumping over
a bar, doing a series of somersaults, and landing
effortlessly on her legs. “Look at those leg
muscles!”
“Jon,
stop.”
“USA USA,”
Jon chanted.
Jenny went to
the kitchen to have a piece of fudge. She had two.
Then she had three. I know what to do, she
thought as she chewed. She took a pair of large
yard shears from the garage and went out to the
cable connection. She smiled as she cut through
the first few strands of the cable. No more fit
female bodies parading about on TV. She snipped
again. No more images of athletic superwomen. She’d
no longer feel like a blob of jelly in comparison.
She went back
in the house and found Jon messing around with
the television controls.
“Damn
thing just blanked out.”
“Too bad.
But, it’s old. It’s probably broke.”
“Well,
it’s terrible timing. I’m going down to
Benson’s Electronics right now to buy
another one.”
“Dear,
think of the money.”
“Money
doesn’t matter at a time like this.”
He put his
coat on and hurried away.
When he
returned Jon had a big screen TV. He set it up
and plugged it in. The TV turned on but there was
no picture.
“I’m
going out to look at the cable box,” Jon
said. “Maybe that is where the problem is.”
A few minutes later he came in.
“The
squirrels ate through it. I have to call the
cable company.”
“Why
bother them? I’m sure they’re busy.”
“Are you
crazy? The Olympics is on. Of course, I’m
going to bother them.”
He went out to
the kitchen to make the call. Jenny ran to
the garage and got a hammer. She took the hammer
and smashed the TV screen in. Hearing the noise,
Jon came running in.
“For
crying out loud, what are you doing?”
Jenny swung
the hammer once more and hit Jon on the head. He
staggered. Before he could respond she struck him
in the temple three times more. He fell forward
onto the floor. Jenny dragged him into the
kitchen.
The man from
the cable company came a few minutes later. He
was able to fix the cable in a short period of
time. Jenny sat in front of the old TV with a
bowl of buttered popcorn and watched a movie.
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