Space Pods
Attack Manhatten
by Dan Marvin
“They are
definitely from outer space,” said Doctor
Breshnov as he reviewed the close-up photographs
taken by the high-res cameras aboard the Air
Force surveillance plane. “See how
they hover without a propulsion system? And
the spectrographic analysis shows this to be an
alloy with which we are completely unfamiliar.”
“So
we’ve determined they’re from outer
space, what do they want?” asked General
Stevenson. “Do we need to nuke ‘em?”
“I think
we should wait until they make an aggressive move,
General.” The doctor replied. The
control room was still as they monitored the
situation unfolding nearby.
In Times
Square, a stunned population looked at the pods
suspended motionless over the city. Gasps
were heard below as the spheres began to unfold. Soon
the sky over Manhattan was completely covered
with a silvery mesh. A humming noise could be
heard and then the silvery mesh was covered with
an image.
“People
of earth,” boomed a voice as images began to
flit across the screen. “You can have
flatter abs in as little as 6 minutes a day. This
miracle machine makes kitchen chores a thing of
the past. Your laundry will be whiter and
your clothes will smell fresher. I went from
a size 20 to a size 6 in two weeks and so can you.
This great offer can you be yours today for 6
easy payments of $39.95. But wait, that’s
not all…”
In the command
center, General Stevenson gave the orders. “Get
those birds in the air and let’s chase these
spammers back to planet X.” Immediately the
skies over the city were filled with the whine of
air force jets and the screen was torn to shreds.
Inside the
lead spacecraft, Xlefurge turned to Bliporg.
“I don’t understand, we have been
intercepting their electronic signals for years.
This message was specifically tailored to make
them happy. Where did we go wrong?”
Bliporg
flailed his appendages disgustedly. “Some
people just don’t understand a good deal
when they see one.”
With that, the
spacecraft disappeared from view. The people
of earth celebrated briefly, then went to watch
the coverage on CNN.
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