Free Monster to
a Good Home
by Jimmy
Calabrese
Juan laughed
as he posted an anonymous reply to the online
classified ad: You can send one my way, I
have a big backyard.
A few days
later, when Juan backed his truck out of the
garage, he discovered a gigantic 10 foot crate
blocking the driveway. No markings or labels were
on the crate. He talked to his neighbors, but
nobody knew when or who delivered it.
Juan checked
his e-mail and found a reply to his response to
the classified ad: Thanks it's on its way.
Juan replied: Who
are you? How do you know where I live? What the
hell is in the crate you dropped off at my house?
If you don't come and take this off my property,
I'm calling the police.
When Juan didn't
receive a response he called the cops. The
policeman took the report, but advised Juan to
just call the City to take the crate away.
Juan called
the City and they could not accept such a large
item for pick up. He would need to tear it apart.
It took some
time, but when Juan finally pried open one side
of the crate, a pile of what looked like large
dinosaur bones spilled out. Juan laughed as he
dragged the bones into his backyard. He called
all his neighbors to help him piece together the
skeleton.
“Juan, I
don't think these bones are from just one
dinosaur," a neighbor said. "These all
look like brontosaurus legs."
"Whatever
they are, I'm going to make some money off them,"
Juan said.
The next
morning, while looking at a Web site about
dinosaurs, his computer alerted him to an
incoming e-mail message: Sorry to scare you,
Juan. We are from a little island in the
Caribbean. We found your address on the Internet,
hope you don't mind. The monster will soon show
up looking for his chew bones. Thanks for taking
him off our--
Low-frequency
tremors shook the house in a slow rhythmic
pattern. Juan ran outside to look.
"I need a
bigger backyard."
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