Reggie and
Beatrice
by Marvin Pinkis
"Reginald,
will you stay for cold supper?"
"Perhaps.
What shall you be having?"
"I
believe cook said it would be grouse."
"Well, I
shant grouse about grouse," Reginald smiled
at his rapier wit.
"Yes, of
course. I'll ring cook and confirm."
Beatrice rang
for cook who whispered in her ear and informed
Beatrice there had been a menu change.
Beatrice
stated, "Regretably it will not be grouse,
but a rabbit pie, quite good, most likely.
Reginald
declined, announcing he must depart having
overlooked an appointment three days hence with
his saucier.
Beatrice fumed.
She turned away and screamed at the stage
director, "You see what that asshole is
doing? He's not supposed to challenge the fuckin'
menu. Can't you make him understand that if the
script says he'll stay for goddam rabbit pie,
he will eat fuckin' goddam rabbit pie? Just
like we have to."
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