Jefferson Davis
Uses Wry Humor to Rally Virginia
(Ch. 13. The
Bupkis History of THE WAR OF YANKEE AGGRESSION)
by Art Bupkis
And so it was
that by the spring of 1861 seven states had left
that sorry state of a Union, and were now freely
associating as The Confederate States of America.
Although initially he had resisted secession,
Jefferson Davis of Mississippi was chosen as CSA
President, and set about preparing for a noble
war against the Yankee oppressors he knew would
soon be invading to rape and pillage the sacred
South.
Paramount on
Davis's agenda was prevailing on other bondsmen-accommodating
states to join The Confederacy. Here none was
more critical than The Commonwealth of Virginia,
and with his authorization of the April 12
shelling of that intolerable Yankee-occupied Fort
Sumter in South Carolina, Davis increased his
lobbying of the Virginia Convention--itself
convened specifically to deliberate the matter--to
act in a fittingly bold affirmation of liberty.
But despite its motto, "Sic semper tyranis",
The Old Dominion hesitated.
Somehow
Virginia had to find fresh courage--the same kind
of courage that had once led it to lead the
efforts that freed this land from Old King George--to
now evict The Tyrant, Abe. And President Davis
thought he knew just where such courage could be
found.
There was and
is no son of Virginia more respected than George
Washington, and despite the fact that Washington
chaired the U.S. Constitutional Convention, was
the first U.S. President, and was deeply troubled
by the institution of slavery, Davis was
convinced that Virginia would rally if infused
with GW's spirit. Therefore, he asked one of his
supporters in The Convention to round up a few
critical undecideds and invite them to discuss
the matter further over cocktails. To help, Davis
sent over a jug of rye whisky that had been
distilled and bottled at Washington's very own
farm, Mt. Vernon, in 1799, the same year as the
great general's death. (It really wasn't that
hard to find; Washington sold over 11,000 gallons
of rye whisky that year.)
The party went
well. Davis's friend reported that two
representatives told him they would now vote for
secession, while the one holdout had gotten so
drunk that he probably wouldn't be able to attend
any meetings for days. As a new vote was
scheduled for later that very afternoon, there
was every reason to hope that Virginia would vote
for secession on the first ballot.
Good 'ol Jeff
Davis rejoiced at this good news, but resolved
not only to endure no matter how long Virginia's
resolve to honor might take, but also to always
maintain his good humor, no matter what. He sent
his friend more jugs of Washington's whisky,
along with this note:
"If at
First you don't secede, try rye again."
My research
indicates that this is the very last report of
"Washington's Rye Spirits" anywhere.
Virginia is said to have seceded from the United
States of American on April 17, 1861…. least
that's the date most back then later thought they
sorta, mighta remembered.
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