How to be Dead
IV
(A Dog's Testimony)
by Michael S.
Collins
Woof! If this
job did not pay so well, I may very well have
gone out on strike. Would you call getting hit
all day long by an abusive pet, job satisfaction?
Man's best friend indeed. Woof! Thirteen
years servitude to the man next door to my
subject is not how I envisaged that part of my
life.
Who am I? I am
a guardian. You see, the problem with human
beings is that they are fundamentally stupid. No
offence please, but I should remind you that you
are the only species around who do not know how
to die properly. All the others get to the
afterlife perfectly happy, but human beings moan
around as ghosts unless someone gives them a
helping hand. That's what we are for. The
guardians, here to protect the Flock from
excessive damage, and guide them to their destiny
after death. Very important we are! Woof! (Forgive
me, thirteen years in dog form makes this a habit
hard to break!).
Gordon Divers?
Well, he is safe now. He learned how to be dead
and that is the important thing. A tidy ending?
Perhaps not, but then death so rarely is.
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