Braless in
Australia
by Walt
Giersbach
“A revolutionary
discovery is rewriting the history of underwear:
Some 600 years ago, women wore bras. The
University of Innsbruck said that archeologists
found four linen bras dating from the Middle Ages
in an Austrian castle. Fashion experts describe
the find as surprising because the bra had
commonly been thought to be only a little more
than 100 years old as women abandoned the tight
corset. Also found at Lemberg Castle in
Tyrol was a linen undergarment that looks very
much like a pair of panties. It is men’s
underwear — women did not wear anything
under their flowing skirts back then.”
--Associated Press, July 2012
Frau Gutentag slammed into her
daughter’s bedroom waving a lacy bra. “Ermentrude,
what is the meaning of this bra I found in the
midden heap? If your bras are in the
garbage, what are you wearing?”
Her daughter looked up from
her needlework, arching her eyebrows. “Why,
nothing, Mütte. That bra you are holding is
a symbol of man’s oppression of women. From
now on, I’ll wear nothing but corsets —
under my 20-pound flowing silk and linen skirt,
of course.”
“But, that is…is
indiscreet. What if a man were to see…?”
“Man? There are
no men. They’re off fighting the 30
Years War. And that’s another thing we
girls are protesting.”
“War? But the men
always have war, else what would they do?”
“Come home and help
with the dishes and the sweeping, for one thing.
And for another thing, men think they’re the
only ones who can wear underpants.”
“Good Heavens,
I’m shocked! We women have gone
panties-less for centuries.”
“Dear Mütte,
it’s about time men learn exactly who will
wear the pants in the future. Besides,
Austrian winter winds blow under my skirt and
chap my…”
“Don’t say it!
All right. I’ll join you in tossing my bra
on the midden heap. And I’ll try on
your father’s old underpants — at least
until he and your 12 brothers come back from
sacking the enemy.”
“And next week,”
Ermentrude said, “I’ll make up my mind
whether to vote Catholic or Protestant. Those
monkish chants are quite nice, but I think
Protestant fashion is so chic this year.
Wouldn't I look good in gray sack cloth?”
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