Ahmed's Holiday
by Dan Gee
One day Ahmed
decided that he wanted to go on holiday with his
Mummy, Daddy and his pet Beaver, Dave. So
he went up to his mum and he asked “can we
go on holiday?” His mum tried to think of a
reason why not but it was near his birthday and
he had just got over Ebola so she thought he
deserved a treat. His Mummy said, “Yes Ahmed,
as it’s your birthday soon, and you have
been a brave boy, we can go.”
“Woopee!”
Cried Ahmed in an excited, high pitched voice.
“Don’t
get too excited, we don’t even know if the
man at the holiday shop will have any holidays
left. Let’s go and see”
So off they
went to the holiday shop and spoke to the man on
the desk, he had Holidays to everywhere! Ahmed
didn’t want to go on a plane as he was
scared of flying, he didn’t want to go on a
train as he thought they were too crowded and he
most certainly didn’t want to go in a car as
it was too hot and stuffy! He wanted to go in a
boat, he’d never been in one before and he
loved the fish. He couldn’t swim, but he was
learning and he was sure that with a bit of hard
work, he could learn in time to be able to swim
the Dolphins.
“Hello Mr
Holiday Man,” said Ahmed, “Can we go on
holiday please, in a boat, near Dolphins, ooo,
ooo and hopefully next week so I can get back to
watch the Special Olympics, ooo and
and…”
“Wow,
slow down Ahmed and remember to say please,”
shouted his Mummy, punching him in the face,
“Sorry, about that Mr Holiday Man, could we
book a holiday for next week please, a cruise
would be nice, one near Dolphins if you could.”
“How many
people are going?” asked the man.
“2 adults,
one child, ooo and Ahmed’s pet Beaver. I
take it there will be a Beaver day centre”
“That’s
no problem, and I’ll make sure there is a
day care centre for your Beaver. In fact, here
you go, just the holiday,” replied the man
in a polite manner, handing over the tickets with
a big grin stretched across his face.
“Yay,
thank you Mummy, where are we going? Will I see
the Dolphins?”
“Yeah, in
fact you may even see mutated Dolphins, because,
we are going on a Cruise of the North Sea,
aren’t you excited?”
“Yes
thank you Mummy I can’t wait to tell Daddy
and Dave!”
So a week past
and the holiday began, the weather was lovely,
the sun was just viewable past the clouds of
toxic waste being thrown out by the big towers
near the coast. The sea was a lovely shade of
brown, like chocolate fudge cake. And Ahmed’s
mummy was right; there were mutated Dolphins, 28
feet long with massive fangs and even bigger
horns.
Ahmed thought
they were brilliant, but he didn’t swim with
them, his Daddy said they were dangerous, so
Ahmed played with his Beaver and practiced his
swimming. There was loads to do on the boat, you
could play tennis, volleyball and even watch
films in the cinema. The best thing was still the
swimming pool, it was massive!
Then, suddenly,
there was a big bump and a loud crash. One of the
Dolphins had bit into the ship. It was beginning
to sink. Water was starting to fill the ship and
Ahmed was very scared.
After a few
minutes the boat was submerged in water but
luckily most people had got into boats and were
safe. Ahmed and Dave were fortunately in a boat
but they couldn’t see Mummy or Daddy
anywhere. They shouted and called but they
didn’t hear anything. Dave slapped his tail
in the water to make a loud noise but still they
didn’t hear anything. Ahmed thought all was
lost but then out of nowhere he saw his Mummy and
Daddy struggling in the water.
Ahmed quickly
constructed a plan, Dave would make a raft with
his brilliant building skills, and then Ahmed
would swim to his parents and get them. He would
have to fight off the Dolphins so he grabbed a
machine gun that just happened to be flying past.
He shouted “I’m coming Mum and Dad,
don’t sink, I’ll save you.” Then
he said to Dave, “Be quick Dave they look
tired”
Dave replied
in a broad Yorkshire accent, “Aye lad
woun’t be long, jus finish ma pie.” So
he scoffed it down and quickly made a raft.
Ahmed swam
hard and got to his parents really quick!
“Get on
the raft,” he shouted, “You’ll be
safe there!”
“Sod off,
we caused this whole thing to kill you, we hate
you, you are a wining little git and you always
get in the way of our nights of hot love!”
Shouted his Mummy, once again punching him in the
face.
“You
bastard, you absolute bastard, I hate you, “
Screamed Ahmed with a bloody nose. He punched his
Mummy in the face and to his surprise his Daddy
punched him. Then out of nowhere, Dave jumped in
and ate his Mummy and Daddy. Ahmed was safe as he
clambered on to the raft and sailed home.
When he got
home, Ahmed was very upset, he used to love his
parents but now they were nothing more than
potential poo being digested in Dave’s
digestive system. Although he was glad they were
dead and not able to punch his face anymore, he
did want his Mummy to tuck him in and Daddy to
tell him bed time stories. Dave was illiterate
and tried sending Ahmed to sleep by playing the
banjo; it didn’t work. Just as Ahmed thought
all was lost he had a very nice surprise. His
REAL Mummy and Daddy jumped through the door and
shouted “Surprise, we were kidnapped by an
evil Beaver; in fact it’s that one! GET
HIM” They ran at him with pickaxes and
stabbed him repeatedly, Ahmed was both upset and
happy, he got his parents back but Dave was dead.
It turned out
that Dave wasn’t actually a Beaver, he was a
mutated Dolphin who just looked like a Beaver As
for the impostor Mummy and Daddy; they were
terrorists hired by Dave to help him. Ahmed was
now relatively happy; he got a new pet, a lovely
Fluffy antelope which he loved very much. His
real Mum and Dad never punched him in the face
and they all lived happily ever after.
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