Wrinkles
by John Brooke
The telephone
call to First Response Services came late in the
evening.
“Hello,
hello! Send ambulance and medical aid right now
to the Found Bliss Retirement Community in
Buttonville,” said a matron’s voice.
“What’s
the emergency?” asked the dispatcher.
The caller,
flustered and shocked, simply repeated the
location to the emergency responder.
“Listen,
madam, this is serious. I need more specific
details as to the injury or illness of the victim
before I can respond to your request.”
“Well,
there are two of them. The lady is 75, and she
and the gentleman were celebrating his 80th
birthday when the tragic thing happened.”
“What is
the nature of the tragedy, Madam?"
“I
can’t find words to describe what I’m
seeing at the moment. Plenty of strange things
happen here, and I’ve worked in this
retirement place for ten years. This situation is
beyond description.”
“Please
get a grip on yourself madam, calm down, tell me
what the emergency is?”
“As I
said, they celebrated his birthday in her
apartment. It was apparent they both had too much
dandelion wine. One thing lead to another and
when he blew out the candles on his cake, the
place plunged into darkness, they groped for
each other and imagined they had become hot
pubescent teenagers. They proceeded to tear their
clothes off and hugged one another in naked,
blind passion.”
“Please,
just the facts ma’am.”
“They
screamed for help. I heard the call and rushed to
their aid. When I switched on the lights, a
frightening vision flashed into plain sight. They
didn’t look good naked, that’s for sure.
Their aged wrinkled bodies had Velcroed onto
one other. Two brawny male maintenance workers
and I couldn’t pry the puckered old pair
apart.”
“An
ambulance and ‘The Jaws-of-Life’ are on
their way.”
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