Thoughts For The
New Year
by Roger Freed
Since when has
it been OK to put chocolate in breakfast cereal?
If both cars and cows are contributing to global
warming, why don't we just cut the problem in
half and ride cows to work?
If Donald Trump had been alive in the Roman times,
would he have become a Caesar, or would someone
have assassinated him long before he even got
close to it?
Since food companies got around the bad rap sugar
has by labeling it as 'cane sugar' now, could
they do the same for heroin by labeling it as 'processed
poppy seeds'?
Did Benjamin Button start getting Social Security
right away when he was born?
If Rick Perry thinks Donald Trump was chosen by
God to be President, shouldn't someone go check
on God to make sure He doesn't have Alzheimer's?
And while we are at it, maybe someone should
check up on Rick Perry too.
Why can't the Flat Earth Society people just come
up with a photo of the edge of it?
Why does Russia keep wanting to take over more
land and countries when they can't even take care
of what they have already?
Why don't we just devote one new TV channel
exclusively to Donald Trump so that we can watch
something else on all the rest of the channels?
If it is OK for models to be plus size is it OK
for me to have zits?
Once China takes over all of Asia is it going to
be hard to get good sushi? Or good anime?
Could it be that Icelanders are the only people
who have it together in the world? They made a
prosperous country out of ice, rock and ocean and
you never see them getting into any wars.
If the Republicans want a republic, why do they
keep acting like they want a dictatorship?
Since the world is running out of oil maybe
someone should make a real Jurassic Park to start
replenishing the base material for it.
Since so many more roads have been built in the
world since Bob Dylan wrote “How many roads
must a man walk down?” isn't it a moot point
by now?
With the opioid crisis in America getting worse,
if we were to inject the involved pharmaceutical
overlords with it, wouldn't the problem take care
of itself?
Wouldn't the U.S. be a much more fun place if the
Republicans were to change over to being Rap-publicans?
(It would be really uncool, though, if the
Democrats were to become 'Demonocrats', which
would make our government a 'demonocracy', which
is a real word. I know because I looked it up on
Wikipedia, so there.)
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