The Collection
by Sam Mosley
Confident in
her skin?
Doesn’t
do it.
Micha was the
Jedi warrior of womanhood. Were it possible to
mix the best of Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren,
Scarlet Johannson, you would be getting close;
The rich man’s world was her oyster, pearls
and all.
Micha had
pleasured many world leaders, sportsmen and
entertainers. She would say they were all the
same; rich.
Not yet 30,
Micha was considerably wealthy. She had done very
well from the male population; the population she
had grown to hate. Bored with her life of
partying and schmooze, she searched for new
interests and discovered a new passion - extreme
necktie collecting.
Naturally,
they were not any old ties, but rare
collector’s items. The criteria being, they
had to be around some man’s neck. A man whom
she would then seduce and strangle with said tie.
Before removing the tie, Micha would photograph
the latest addition to her catalogue.
Her first
victim could not believe his luck. He was wearing
his 40-and-still-a-virgin tie when this goddess
of beauty beckoned him. Stunned, he remained
bashfully at his bar stool. There followed twenty
minutes of miming “Me?” accompanied by
tentative glances over the shoulder.
Finally, Micha
marched across the bar, grabbed him by the tie
and dragged him off to her room.
Victim no 1
was too easy. Not knowing what to expect, he
thought being strangled was part of the norm, his
final spluttered words being “I can’t
see what all the fuss is about!”
Victim No. 2
was a different bag.
Micha had set
her heart on the tie bestowed upon the President
of the Nudists' Society. The sporting element
being that not only was there one of this
distinguished accessory in circulation at any one
time, but also it appeared just once a year at
the naked ones A.G.M.
Micha’s
sudden naked appearance at the AGM stirred up
varying emotions, none more so than with the
President; raising a point of order, he declared
the meeting over, and would the new member see
him a.s.a.p for her medical.
Incidentally,
his dying words were ‘Don’t let me die,
wearing a tie’ to which Micha added a catchy
melody and enjoyed a minor hit.
Anyhow, it was
quite surprising how the odd tie here and there
soon built to a worthy collection. Her tide of
naked, tie wearing corpses, lovingly photographed,
was her joy. Typically, to obtain total
satisfaction she needed to share her prized
collection.
And
that’s how the 10 photographs of her victims
appeared on Ebay.
Consequently a
bidding war raged, which only curtailed when the
Police withdrew their bid as it was pointed out
to them that the corpse were all male and this
was blatantly Politically Incorrect.
Stung into
action, the police dispatched 2 of their top Pc
Pcs.
The police
eventually became curious as to the delayed
return of the arresting officers. The pair of
them were later discovered in Micha’s
deserted flat; quite dead and wearing nothing but
handcuffs.
Meanwhile as
Micha settled down on her business class flight,
she returned a demure smile to the chap whose
pickled features matched his tie. Her attention
locked on its emblazoned insignia “The 17th
Earl Of Bishop Burton”.
Oh, that’s
a must have.
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