And think of the grief you’re saving!
No nasty salesclerk raving
That your new apparel isn’t rightly molding.
And so protrusive an impediment
Would constrain my arms and thus prevent
Them all around you lovingly enfolding.

You’ll have no sidewalks full of leers
Or worksites fraught with hardhats’ cheers,
No clutchy hands that seek a crafty feeling.
It’s much better when they’re simple
And as subtle as a dimple:
Briefest glimpses are immensely more appealing.

I’d much rather have to grapple
With a breast that’s but an apple
Than a watermelon huge and halter-busting.
I think your bosom is quite peachy
And at the risk of sounding leechy,
I’d prefer to have your eyes at me outthrusting.

I cherish you lean and supple,
And quake at the thought of a couple
Of mounds so large that make for great distraction.
I adore your laugh when I can hear it,
Your smiling eyes and face and spirit:
Your totality’s your really big attraction.

Originally published in Proof Rock #6, Winter 1984-85