US Giving Away
States Because Of Great National Debt
by Roger Freed
The U.S.
National Debt has reached $10 trillion. In an
effort to pay off this enormous amount the
Federal Government has started giving away States
to our debtors overseas.
The first to
go was New Jersey to the Chinese who immediately
sent in troops to take over the municipalities
and factories and sealed the borders. All
dissidents were put in prison and the secret
police visited Bruce Springsteen and beat the
snot out of him. Donald Trump was arrested and
forced to act as a liason between the "running
dog" American capitalists and the "new
order" Chinese entrepreneurs.
The
Australians demanded sea front property and were
not happy to be given Alabama. Despite this they
quickly put up surfing shops, replaced the hotels
with backpacking hostels and started throwing
wild parties on the beach. At first there was
animosity between them and the Alabamanians, but
when they realized that they were both redneck at
the roots they dropped their defences and agreed
to bugger the North and start a second Civil
War for the hell of it.
Leichtenstein
(look it up on a map), Europe's smallest country,
got Nebraska which increased its size 50 times
and made it a nuclear power.
Arnold
Schwarzenegger claimed California for Austria,
setting off riots in the Senate. Further shock
was added when 90% of Austria moved to California
for the beaches and sunshine and promptly kicked
out all the Auslanders (foreigners, or, in their
eyes, anyone not white) except Tila Tequila
because she was hot.
Mexico grabbed
Texas, setting off a revolt by Texans which
resulted in a second storming of the Alamo which
the Mexicans this time razed to the ground.
George W. Bush was expelled as an illegal alien
and a wall was built around the state to prevent
illegals from getting in.
Russia took
back Alaska causing gas prices to jump to $20
a gallon and Sarah Palin to wet her pants.
Sweden took
over administration of Pennsylvania and
immediantly let all inmates of the prisons free,
made all beaches nude and made the restrooms
and clothing unisex. These changes drove the
Amish berserk and they packed up and moved to
Canada.
Major changes
came when the Saudis gained Oregon. Major
flareups occured when women were required to wear
burkas which ended when it was realized they were
really great for keeping the rain off. Religious
police attempted to forbid social contact
between unmarried men and women on the streets,
but this grew difficult because of the
numbers of gay couples holding hands and
walking in the towns. Passions flared when
college football games were cancelled because of mass
stonings being held at the stadiums. The
Saudis finally gave up their claim to Oregon
because they couldn't understand what the
constant wet stuff was falling from the sky.
At the
end of it, with only Arkansas, Wisconsin and Utah
left in the Union, they voted to rename
themselves Floyd.
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