Do It Yourself
Future News Headlines
by Roger Freed
If you look at
enough different newspapers enough different
times you find things can be quite similar. The
rags always seem to be re-circulating the same
type of newsworthy cadavers again and again. The
names and the places change, but the content is
cloned. It gets to the point where you can pretty
much predict what the 'new' news will be about
before it even becomes happens. In fact, one
might as well make up his own news- it won't be
that different from the real event! It never
stopped our new Glorious Leader!
Here are some
templates for making your own 'hot off the press'
news features!
Just fill in the blanks like you would a
crossword puzzle and change every few days to
keep up with the times:
Donald Trump Tweeted His Disdain Over _________And
What He/She/They Did To _________ Him.
Photos Of
Obama Having a Great Time ________ing On Vacation
In __________ With ________.
Sexy Actress
_______ Flashes Her ________ In A Revealing
_________. Photos On Page ________.
Ex President
_______ Says “Trump Is An Incredible
________”. Trump Says That _______ Is An
Even Bigger ___________.
10 Year Old
Transgender ________ Wants To Be Allowed To
________ Where ___ Wants to.
DJ Trump
States That ______ Is A Second Rate _______ And
No One Should Pay Attention To _____. _________Says
The Same For Trump.
An Extreme
Right Wing _____ In _________ Mississippi Chanted
That All ________ Should Be Shipped Back To
________.
Thousands
Rally To Protest _________ Cuts To Their
__________. State Sends In _______ To _____Order.
A White
Policeman Was Accused Of _______ A ___________
While ________.
White
Policeman Acquitted For _______ A ________.
New Wonder
________ Promises To ________ In Only 10 Days.
At A
Republican Meeting In ___________ ____________Demanded
That All _________ Should Be Incarcerated Or
Thrown Out Of Country For ___________.
Republicans
Ejected ________ From a Meeting Over _________
For Expressing ________. ____ Demands An
__________ And An Apology.
Students In
_____ Riot Over ________. Windows Smashed And
_______ Overturned.
Teacher Found
To Be Having Improper _______ With A __________.
_____ year old says it was “________ love”.
Giant
Corporation __________ Takes Over Smaller Company
_______ In Hostile Bid. Moves Operations To
________ And Lays Off _________ Employees.
Athlete
_________ Violently __________ Girlfriend With A
________. Not Arrested, But Gets A _________.
Russian
Dissident __________ In _______ Falls Into
Mysterious Coma. Suspicious ______ Found In His
_______.
President
Select Trump Tweets _______ About _______ Doing
_______. ( repeat this daily using different
names and incidents.)
The President
for Life Of ________ Declares America To Be A
Degenerate ________ That Should Be _________ Into
The Ground For ________.
Islamic
Terrorists In ________ Killed ______ People In A
Predawn _______ Using A ______ As A ________.
Donald Trump's
Cabinet Secretary ________ Caught Sharing Secret
Information With _______. _____ Demands An
__________.
North Korea
Dictator Kim Jong Un Threatens To ________
________ Over Allegations Of ________ from
__________.
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