Church Club
by David Stillwagon
The men’s
Christian club got together on Thursday evening
at 8 o’clock. I didn’t want to go but
my wife thought it was a good way to meet people.
I still didn’t want to go. The people there
were kind of weird, almost creepy. They all
grinned a little too much, as if they had a
secret.
I didn’t
think that there would be any initiation, you
know, like paddling my ass or anything. We
probably would just talk about God for an hour or
so; then I would be out of there.
Everybody was
happy to see me and they hoped that I would come
back. I hadn’t even sat through their
meeting yet. I guess they figured that I might
not like the club. The head guy made me stand up
and introduce myself. That wasn’t bad,
except they were still grinning at me.
The meeting
was about Noah and the ark. I knew the story well.
Animals, two by two, go in the ark; everybody
else drowns. They cut back on their grinning when
they mentioned about the unbelievers slowly
sinking.
I’m
watching the time and it is really, really slow.
I can’t believe that time could actually
stop but it did.
Somebody tries
to make a joke. He wished that Noah had forgotten
to take mosquitoes on the ark. I guess he had
been bitten a lot this summer. Everybody laughed.
They thought that was real funny.
I thought I
would take a chance at a little humor. I said
that either Noah or his wife must have had crabs
because we still have them today. It was the
wrong material for this crowd.
Nobody
bothered to ask me to come back after that, which
was fine.
|
