My Favorite
Actors
by Albert Russo
As the time passed, the
people forgot all about Goddess and went back to
believing in the sun, the moon and the stars,
adoring animals and shining stones - though they
didn’t know anything about diamonds then,
they loved everything that glittered. This is
called idolatry.
I too am an idolatress,
on account that I idolize actresses like Meryl
Streep, even if she sometimes does her fake strip
tease shtick, coz she can play anything under the
firmament, even with her head in her back - I
didn’t say backside, clot! Whoopi, oh Whoopi
Goldberg, when she does Sister Act, I almost want
to become her lil nun sister. Marilyn Monroe,
specially when she sings ‘I wanna be loved
by you, by you, in the Bayou’. Helen Mirren
- Jeezettte, did you know that she became famous
as a granny? - I loved that movie where she is
the Chef of a restaurant in France and employs a
cute Indian boy who becomes famous thanks to her.
And frisky but never mushy, there’s
Jennifer Lawrence, who changes roles like a chameleonness,
on account that sometimes you don’t
recognize her, she’s so versatile - this
word has nothing to do with that poor Versace
designer who got killed by one of his lovers in
Miami, eons ago.
As for male actors, some of
my favorites are Matt Dildee Doo Damon, Ben
Sweetie Afleck, Brad Bitzy Poo Pitt, Patrick
Angel Swayze, and before, Leonardo Di Caprio, but
no longer, since I’ve seen ‘Wall Street’,
in which he behaved like a massive MCPiiig, gosh,
how disgusting he’s become; as for George
Who Else Clooney, I really had a crush on him,
even if he could be my father, but my infatuation
tumbled then crashed when I learnt that he was
marrying Amal, a beautiful human rights lawyer.
Oh, I forgot to mention Keanu Kamehameha Reeves,
who can very well surf on my heart, with a flower
lei around his neck - if you dare laugh at me, I’ll
dump you with the hottest ingredients into a
spicy couscous casserole.
Yeah, and I looove pretty
rings but prefer buying custom jewelry with cool
torn jeans, to going to church. Sometimes I must
obey you know who, and accompany him to a
religious concert, coz he thinks that organ music
in churches are just ‘out of this world’,
and that I must absolutely learn to appreciate
them ‘heavenly’ shenanigans, like Bach,
Haendel, Monteverdi and so fork and ding dong
and sooo boring!
So you’re asking me
what do all these people have to do with the big GobbledeBook!
Like you and me, they all descend from Lilith,
Eve and Adam. Ok, if you insist, you may say that
you descend from Chinzee the Chimp. I haven’t
decided yet who my ancestress is. I want
to do some serious research, on account that I’m
not sure if my great- great- arch grand-mother
fell from a tree and hubba hubba hopped on the
jungle ground to gather peanuts for breakfast
munchies.
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