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Morticia and Two Aliens
by Don Drewniak

Without a sound and its invisibility shield activated, a flying saucer landed in a wooded area in the western part of Tennessee

The shield was disabled shortly thereafter revealing a silver-colored saucer no more than sixty feet in diameter. An approximate six foot high, four foot wide door opened shortly thereafter. Out emerged two aliens. Both were slightly over four feet in height and very thin with small mouths, large black eyes, elongated ears, bald heads and pale yellow skin. They were wearing dark grey uniforms and carrying disintegrator guns. Attached to their belts were language translators.

Their orders were to capture and bring back to the mother ship the first human Earthling they found.

Pointing west, the alien who appeared to be in charge said, “The house we saw is no more than four hundred Earth feet in that direction.” Off they went.

They broke into a clearing less than two minutes later. In front of them was a small dilapidated house with an enormous woman, nearly six feet in height and close to 400 pounds, sitting in a rocking chair on a porch and holding a quart-sized bottle in her right hand. A second bottle was on the porch floor no more than a foot from the chair.

With their disintegrators pointed at her, the two aliens stopped no more than five feet from the porch.

“What is your name, Earth woman?” asked the senior alien.

“Morticia.”

“You must come with us, Morticia.”

"Where to, boys?”

“Our spaceship.”

“Mind if I finish off this bottle?”

“What is in it?”

“Genuine Tennessee moonshine.”

“What is moonshine?”

“If you are sick, it makes you feel better. If you are sad, it makes you feel happy. Care to try some?”

She reached down, picked up the second bottle and held it out in front of her.

The aliens looked at one another. “Why not?” asked the junior alien.

“Okay, get it. I'll cover you.”

No more than ten minutes later, they were sitting on the floor of the porch with an empty bottle.

“Do you have anymore?” asked the senior alien.

“Come inside with me.”

In they went and were rewarded with a new bottle.

Morticia smiled as she watched them polish off the second bottle. Their eyes were drooping and the disintegrators were on the floor. Looking directly at them, she rolled her tongue several times around her lips and asked, “Would you boys like me to do something special to you?”

“Something special?” the aliens asked in unison.

“Yes, very special.” She pointed to a bed in an adjacent room.

The senior alien hesitated before saying, "We must be back to our ship in a little less than two of your Earth hours."

She once again rolled her tongue. “This won't take long. Go into the bedroom, take off your uniforms, and lie down on your backs in the middle of the bed. Let me know when you are ready."

In they went tripping over themselves. Less than two minutes later they both yelled, “Ready.”

Morticia broke into a run on the far side of the kitchen and took a headfirst leap as she approached the end of the double bed. The two trapped aliens screamed and there were loud sounds of cracking bones as she landed squarely on top of them.

They stopped breathing less than a minute later. She waited another three minutes before removing herself from the crushed aliens.

Walking into the kitchen, she pulled a large carving knife out of a cabinet drawer. Back in the bedroom, she added two notches to three others on the side of a closet door.

Copyright © 2024 by Don Drewniak. All rights reserved.