No. 1: Birthday
Outside: For
your birthday I was going to buy you a
strip-o-gram, but ...
Inside: My
budget limits me to THIS DAMNED CARD!
Happy Birthday Anyway!*************
No.
2: Birthday
Outside: HAPPY
BIRTHDAY from Spitfire, the Insult Comic
Dog ...
Inside:
Spitfire wishes you a Happy Birthday,
with the admonition that
your birthday is a wonderful day for him
to PEE ON YOUR FOOT!
*************
No.
3: Graduation
Outside:
Congratulations on a job well done. For a
pat on the back and
some encouragement, look inside ...
Inside: It's
not just a SHEEPSKIN you've acquired,
But the hopes and dreams that you desired.
So, armed with your degree and a smidgeon
of luck,
Now GET THE HELL OUT THERE AND MAKE US A
BUCK!
*************
No.
4: Graduation
Outside: To a
new college graduate ...
Inside: As you
leave the ivied walls behind,
Try to recollect and keep in mind
The things you've learned, the friends
you've made -
It wasn't just a passing grade
That made you what you have become,
Or words like COGITO ERGO SUM,
But YOUR TUITION, paid by me,
That made them give you your degree!
*************
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No. 5: St. Patrick's
Day
Outside: It's
St. Patty's Day, and I've been thinking
...
Inside: Tonight's
the night to do some drinking
I'd sooner curse the Blarney Stone
Than have to lift me glass alone.
With that in mind, I'm hoping you
Will help me 'power down' a brew!*************
No.
6: St. Patrick's Day
Outside: It's
St. Patrick's Day, and a leprechaun told
me ...
Inside: To look
up a friend 'fore this night slips away,
For there's friendship and brew to be had
on this day.
I'm thinkin' that we should meet, 'cause
you see -
The LEPRECHAUN said that's the way it
should be!
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
*************
No.
7: St. Patrick's Day
Outside: Oh m'gosh
and oh m'golly, St. Patrick's Day's here!
Look inside, if you've any Irish spirit,
m’dear ...
Inside: It's
March 17, and St. Patrick's Day too,
I'm hoping this day is a good one for you.
A day filled with SHAMROCKS, SHILELAGHS
and BEER,
Just hold off on the latter till evenin'
is here!
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
*************
No.
8: Valentine's Day
Outside: Happy
Valentine's Day to one who ...
Inside: Sets my
heart aflame,
Gives me goosebumps and hot flashes,
Warms the cockles of my heart, and
SHIVERS ME TIMBERS whenever I forget to
send a Valentine's
Day card!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
*************
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