Featured Event
by Ian Curtress
The ladies
were relating embarrassing moments caused by
their offspring and a lady new to the group was
talking about her son, just seven.
He was very bright and consequently asked
questions or made remarks almost continuously.
They had no wish to discourage him, the best way
of learning, but it had its drawbacks.
Recently her sister had visited. She was pregnant
and it was obvious. She waited for the questions
but not being concerned as being family it would
probably caused a laugh.
However, no questions were forthcoming and the
visit was went smoothly.
When she was clearing away after her sister had
left her son suddenly said why has Auntie such a
fat tummy.
This caught her off guard and she quickly said
“through eating too much chocolate”
He accepted that without question and it was
forgotten.
About five weeks later they were on the bus going
into town.
At a bus stop a young lady, obviously pregnant,
got on and sat across the aisle from them.
Her son looked at her for a few moments then with
a cheeky smile said “I know what you’ve
been doing”!
You can imagine the laughter this caused.
However, she said the worst embarrassing moment
couldn’t really be blamed on her son.
They had recently moved into the area and wanted
her son to attend the Church school.
With this in mind she introduced herself to the
vicar who was quite charming but who
unfortunately had a most unusual nose.
She said she was constantly looking away from him
which of course made her reaction more obvious.
After a while it was no longer a problem his
personality was far more compelling than his
unusual feature.
He said he would like to speak to her son in his
usual surroundings and she asked him for a cup of
tea the following afternoon.
Once home she panicked. What would happen when
her son saw that nose.
She did not sleep well that night trying to think
of ways of explaining the unusual feature to him.
She decided to tell him about the vicars nose and
that we do not stare or make remarks or ask
questions about how someone looks because it is
very rude and can make the person miserable.
He seemed to understand and there were no follow
up questions.
Rightly or wrongly she had the same conversation
with her son several times during the morning.
She was working herself into a nervous wreck by
the time the vicar arrived.
However, the vicar was an immediate success with
her son, they chatted in a comforting way.
Strangely this did not help her, she felt sure
there would be a bombshell.
They sat at the table and with shaking hands and
fevered brow she poured the tea.
Passing the cup to the vicar she confidently
asked.
Do take sugar in your nose vicar ?!
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