Back to Egypt
with Benji
by Albert Russo
“Did your father have
sons other than the ten of you?” asked
prince Joey.
“Two, your Highness:
Benjamin, the youngest, who remained with our
father and … er … er … another one
who died a long time ago.” answered the liar.
Instead of showing himself
merciful, Joey sent his ten brothers to jail.
After three days, he called
for them. They were sniffling, slobbering and
gnashing their teeth - they had lost half of them
- like a pack of scrawny mutts who could barely
stand on their legs, they were now trembling
something awful, both out of weakness and out of
fear, so much so that the floor got soon covered
with rivulets of piss. And if you lent an
attentive ear, you could hear their bones rattle.
“Ok, folks,” said
Joey the prince, actually he was a guv’nor,
“buy your grain, but to make sure you aren’t
spies, I’ll keep one of you in prison, while
you go back to your land and bring me your
youngest brother.”
Distraught and dragging the
heavy sacks of grain they had bought, the nine
brothers trekked back to their birthplace and
told their father all about their strange stay in
Egypt, that their brother Simeon was locked
behind bars and that they had to return to Egypt
with Benjamin.
Old Jacob was aghast -
though he did look a bit ghostly on account that
he too had lost half of his former weight - and
cried: “Never, I won’t let Benjamin
follow you, I’ve already lost Joseph, and I
don’t want the same to happen to him.”
When they opened the sacks,
they were all very surprised: with the food was
the money they had given the guv’nor to buy
it.
The weeks passed, the nine
brothers were restless and sweating profusely,
coz they knew that if they didn’t bring
their baby brother to the guv’nor, the ladder
would have Simeon killed. They soon reached a
point where the grain was getting scarce and they
began to have hunger pangs again. They begged
their father to let Benjamin accompany them,
promising him to take extra good care of their
baby brother. They finally convinced old Jacob
and made their way back to the land of Egypt.
A few weeks later, they all
stood before guv’nor Joey. Upon seeing
Benjamin, he became cold and stiff, on account
that he remembered that his darling mom had died
after having born the baby boy, and not to show
his emotions, he suddenly left the room.
A few minutes later guv’ner
Joey reappeared at the banquet and allowed his
brothers to serve themselves and indulge in the
best food they’d ever had in their entire
life. Because they all felt uneasy, not
understanding why they were so royally treated,
they ate like the starving storks they looked
like, pecking at the delicacies, while their
tummies were grumbling so loud, you’d
thought they were training for some kind of
techno gut music.
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