Angel Hair
by Zvi A.
Sesling
Ugly Alice
Crucknagel is pregnant there is no doubt. What is
in doubt, who the father is. Charlie Neppets, the
neighborhood’s homeliest male is immediately
ruled out and my wife, Carla, is nominated to ask
her who had gotten her in this predicament. Alice
is neither married nor known to be dating since
her former husband Pierce Crucknagel moved to
California.
Rumors fly until Carla finally approaches Alice
on the way to the supermarket and says, “I
hear you are pregnant. I want to congratulate you.”
“Yes, I am pregnant,” Alice answers
glumly,
“And may I ask who is the father?’
“It is an alien,” Alice whispers.
“What?”
“It is an alien,” Alice repeats.
“What is?”
“The ones who got me pregnant. They
kidnapped me and injected me with their sperm so
I would produce a child for them since they can’t
reproduce. Their world is dying because they are
sterile, so they are planning to repopulate their
world with these hybrids,” Alice says
patting her tummy.
The two of them stop walking. face each other.
They can feel the eyes of a nosy neighbor peering
out the window from behind a single slat of
Venetian blinds lifted by a single finger.
Carla only tells four people what Alice has
confessed and in less than hour the whole
neighborhood knows.
Three months later Alice gives birth to a boy.
Everyone who sees her walk the baby in a carriage
acknowledges it is as ugly as its mother and
perhaps its father too.
A few of us sit around at lunch at the coffee
shop on a Saturday afternoon discussing it when
Betsy says, “It has funny stringy white hair,
like spaghetti.”
“Like angel hair,” someone says.
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