Stagestruck
by Hazel
Girolamo
Saturdays
matinee performance of Tosca, had the audience
ducking for cover when a fight broke out right on
stage by the two principal leads. Tensions were
already evident when the fiery heroine of the
aforementioned opera, played by Beryl Cambridge
and her onstage lover Mario, a debut performance
by Stephen Fyshwick, steeped onto the stage.
Stephen, was a last minute replacement for
renowned local tenor Kenneth Allenby who had a
nasty costume malfunction when he slipped his
codpiece and his understudy, Robert Cambridge,
having sustained a skateboarding injury despite
being warned repeatedly by his Aunty Beryl, who
insisted a neck brace and crutches would only
enhance and engage the audiences emotions, were
in her own words, scornfully dismissed by the
director. Stephen in his enthusiasm, waved his
hands around as if he was conducting the
orchestra, accidentally brushed Beryl's ample
cleavage and one of Stephen's digits got entwined
with one of the several strands of pearl around
Beryl's neck.
Unfortunately,
this incident occurred at that dramatic moment in
the opera where Tosca throws herself off the
castle battlements with a heart rendering shriek
her death which was echoed by Stephen, who found
himself inadvertively following her over the
battlements as well.
Fortunately,
stagecraft being what it is, there was no great
distance to fall but the audience was treated to
the sight of Stephen's tunic flapping, albeit in
time to the music, with his legs semaphoring
wildly. He continued to sing his part, the
muffling of the sound adding an eerie cadence to
his solo when a loud snap and a cluster of tiny
but clearly audible drops were heard as Beryl's
pearls broke free.
Tosca, at this
point is never heard from again, but here she was
not only heard from but clearly seen as her hand
came back over the battlements to make contact
with Stephen's face and pushed him unsteadily
back onto his feet. The music swelled, as did
Stephen's finger, still tightly encircled in
Beryl's necklace, like a prawn in a net. His
painful rendition of the final aria, will surely
never be bettered. Stephen while enjoying a
standing ovation, received a very special, size
eleven sequined clodhopper to his derriere,
courtesy of Beryl and ended up astern in the
orchestra pit. An encore performance, scheduled
for next week has been postponed due to
concussion, several black eyes and injured pride.
Auditions will
be held instead.
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