From The Desk Of
The Minister Of Foreign Affairs
by William Kitcher
The following
is a translation by this government and
associated parties of an apparent message found
in a cylinder made of an unknown metal alloy,
presumably from beyond our solar system. The
cylinder is grey and battered, approximately 29.2
cm X 26.6 cm X 14.3 cm in dimensions, and was
found near Oak Lake, north of Belleville, in
eastern Ontario, Canada, by a seven-year-old boy,
who gave it to his father, who subsequently
turned it over to the federal government in July
2020. The message itself is a small (4.2 cu cm)
glass-like multi-coloured marble with 804
indentations of various shapes and sizes.
We are still
learning about the other qualities of the
cylinder and the marble. For more specific
details, please contact the Ministry of Foreign
Affairs.
This
translation is not necessarily endorsed by all
members of the project to decipher the message.
Many symbols had possibly several meanings, and
the most likely choices have been placed in
parentheses. Many of the symbols were
undecipherable, and only general suppositions
were made as to their meanings, none of which are
re-printed here for reasons of clarity. These
parts are indicated by a straight line. Some
liberties have been taken to preserve English
grammatical structure.
"____ for
the ____. (Before, by the time) you see this
____, it will be ____. In the (year, day, era)
that we (expanded, became technological), we also
(destroyed, polluted, exploited) our (water, air,
soil, planet, galaxy). The results have been (catastrophic,
extensive, minimal). From our vantage point (on
an artificial satellite, above), we see that our
world is ____. There are no (humanoids,
settlements, plants) left, and the ____ of the
____ is irreversible. (We, Some of us, I) (think,
feel, hope) that this message will find an (inhabited,
other) world where ____ will be able to (live,
die, kill). This message has been reproduced, and
(28, 804, 8837) copies (have been, are being)
sent throughout the (constellation, galaxy,
universe). (We, Some of us, I) (intuit, believe,
know) that there are (28, 804, 8837) places where
(intelligent life, human life, some form of life)
(exists, is). We have perfected the technology
whereby we will know when the cylinder has been (found,
opened, interpreted, within [.1, 5, 100] light-years
of other life). By now, you ____. Your ____ (is,
are) ____. We ____. We (hope, know) this message
(has not been, is) (frightening, pessimistic,
difficult to understand). It will soon be ____
for you. If we are not (present with,
infiltrating, destroying) you, we soon ____. Our
message is (completed, almost over, beginning).
This is for your ____. Do not breed too many ____.
Do not consume too many ____. Stop ____."
Would anyone
with further information please contact the
Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Is there anyone out
there?
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